Since I have arrived, I have been “sick” exactly 7 times. This is roughly once a week. It is tricky to write about this without being graphic, but I will try.

I have had Delhi Belly four times. This experience has involved intense stomach cramps, the requisite familiarity with the toilet, mild fever, and the fear of being caught in the back of an auto rickshaw stuck in jam-packed traffic with truck exhaust fumes flowing over you at the “wrong time.” As of now, knock on wood, that has not happened. Also luckily, humanity has created something of the Gatlin gun to take care of this experience: Cipro. The first time I had “an upset stomach” (a euphemism, if ever there was one) I took this and was fine within 6 hours. This is quite remarkable and can easily be abused.

As a result, the second time I became sick I did not opt for the cure, as it seems that broad spectrum antibiotics should really only be used in the most dire of situations. So I suffered through the symptoms and three days later came out all the better for it.

There is a futile and funny (as in both odd and comical) game that accompanies each bout of “the belly” as I have taken to calling it. The game involves trying to guess what has caused this suffering: was it the few drops of water in the bottom of the glass at the restaurant or was it the flies that were landing on the food at the outdoor BBQ? This is really the most useless effort, as one can hardly track what makes them sick and even if they could, they would be foolish to attempt to change their diet based on this speculative digestive sleuthing.

The other times I have been sick, such as two weeks ago, I had a fever. This seems pedestrian enough, but when you are not taking anti-Malarial pills (apparently the liver, kidney, and/or gall bladder don’t take well to a constant dosing of the medicine) a fever can be the first signpost to a serious bout with an age-old killer. This is, of course, overstating the case significantly, but I can’t lie and say that every mosquito bite I get sends a shudder of hypochondriac worry throughout. Of course, if it isn’t Malaria then it could always be Chikungunya (written about earlier, but here is a quick summation: high fever accompanied by rash and debilitating joint pain that leaves most sufferers in bed for anywhere between one week and three months).

There is no cure or prevention for this mosquito-born virus (though there is a healthy homeopathic “preventative” that has made its rounds throughout the southern areas of Andhra Pradesh and Tamil Nadu. As an aside, the “preventative” comes in a small vial with about 40 or 50 tiny little round white pills. The directions suggest that you take 5 pills throughout the day and “avoid contact with those who have Chikungunya.” This last piece of advice is sound since the virus is transmitted by mosquitoes that bite people who are infected with the virus and then bite those who are not, however, one has to question the ability of a preventative that isn’t very confident of its ability to stop you from getting the virus if you are around those with the affliction. Anyway, I digress.

The fevers aren’t that intense, but they are odd since I had only had one fever in 10 years prior to coming to India. I guess that there are no shortage of new bugs and viruses for my body to adjust to, so the roller coaster of health (or sickness) acclimation continues.

Luckily, I have gone two whole weeks without any kind of health problem. Each bout of “the belly” is less intense than the last and the fevers have stopped. My daring when it comes to the foods I eat now knows no bounds as I have even had an Indian delicacy called Pani Puri. This is a small hard shell filled with sweet and spicy flavoured water. This is daring because water is the main culprit in about 80% of stomach issues and because this is really street food (I’ll let you imagine all that this name entails).

So I am happy to report that I am getting better and my stomach is getting less temperamental.